Civility

Content Note: Racism, homophobia, sexism

 

 

 

 

Anger. Frustration. Injustice. Unfairness. Marginalism. Racism. Sexism. Homophobia. Transphobia. They cry out to be released from the hidden places in society and exposed to the light of day that we might be able to banish them altogether.
There are some who profit from darkness and secrecy, however. Clear and present dangers are not the most threatening – they are sham threats, paper tigers. The most insidious dangers are those that come from those who are not themselves enemies. No, in fact, most of these are friends, loved ones, who, not understanding the position, call for civility.
Fred Clark over at Patheos has said, “You can’t deny people their rights and be nice about it.” I would add, you also don’t get to tell people that unkind things and be civil about it.

Feminists should be less shrill and screechy. Don’t they know that they’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar? When you have been the victim of systematic oppression and abuse, we’ll see how “shrill” you get. How about you listen to what people are saying rather than pedantically focusing on how the message is delivered? Focusing on the tone is petty and small. Stop it.

Those gays just need to quiet down and not be in our face all the time. Things were just fine before they all started shouting about marriage all the time. Can’t they just be content? You have never been told that the love you feel is an abomination, or threatened to be killed for having a relationship. You’ve never been told that God hates you, or that what you do is disgusting, or any of a host of other things that QUILTBAG people experience on a daily basis. You are saying things that are stupid. Stop it.

Stop calling us racist – we don’t hate non-white people, we just don’t want them in our country! If the shoe fits, wear it. You can’t vote for anti-immigration laws, voter suppression, and mandatory minimums and then insist that you really do care about people of color. You are saying and doing racist things. Stop it.

You don’t get to be nice and hateful. When hatefulness is present, all other considerations of civility are wiped away, and the one who is hateful has exposed themselves to any type of response that may come.

This is why I do not mince words when it  comes to injustice. I will not be civil when people are being oppressed. Civility is how injustice, marginalization, and oppression are hidden. As far as I can, I will shine the light of knowledge on the darkeness hidden by a sham of civility.

There are other examples. So many other examples.